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I don't know about the shame part. I don't have the statistics but in my own simple ways, I can see that nearly all people have comfort zones. Some are tiny and some are huge.

To use the Olympics as a metaphor: a swimmer may focus on one race, that's their comfort zone, while another (Phelps) may set his eye on eight races, but even Phelps has a comfort zone (albeit a huge one): he did not compete in races where he felt he may not medal.

Joysea,

I too had triple bypass just 10 months ago. I had suffered from a genetic heart disease for over 20 years that 17 Drs in 3 different states missed. After the first 13 years I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which we now know wasn't it at all. I had one of the last of many heart attacks (small ones throughout the years) sitting at the final table playing Texas Hold Em'. I think I might have had the heart attack because I was winning. LOL Then had my last one in the ER a few days later, that their machines did not pick up on. It wasn't until the test were ran at the cardiologist and then the heart cath, that the real problem was discovered. The Drs said I was the walking dead. The entire back wall of my heart was damaged from the numerous heart attacks, and I had blockages of 100%, 90% and 70%. I had my surgery on Monday and was walking out of the hospital early Thursday morning. I have since been asked to come back to speak with other heart patients about their attitude toward their health and the surgery.

But what I really wanted to say is before my surgery, I never wanted to travel. I had too many responsibilities keeping me here. Now I want to travel, I want to do things and experience things like never before. I don't have a "bucket list" but I don't want to miss a thing. I no longer play in large poker games (no more than 10 people), but that is for my hubby's benefit and his peace of mind.

My grandmother had a philosophy of life, "live each day like you will die tomorrow, plan for the future like you'll live forever." She lived to be over 100. I have the plan now, that if I die tomorrow I have left a legacy to my children, that I lived everyday to the fullest. I hope and pray that they follow this example.

Just because you've had medical issues in the past don't mean they have to follow you into your future.

Get out, spread your wings and fly.

(I've made arrangements to bungee jump next month, want to join me?)

Terri

As is typical of many, my comfort zone was an unpleasant but familiar place. I was a worrier because I believed somehow worrying was being responsible and would ward off the worst case scenarios; also, working harder than everyone else and maintaining very high levels of stress was important to success. If I wasn't one step from mental and physical collapse, I wasn't doing enough. Then there was the victim mentality thing. If you are a victim you don't have to take responsibility for relationships. Thanks to a dear friend, some really good advice and several self-help books, I've come a really long way. Oh, and I'm all for therapy, it just wasn't and isn't an option for now. I went from believing that life is a place to prove one's spiritual worth by withstanding whatever trials were sent one's way to believing that life is a great opportunity to learn and grow and,(YES), be happy:) As a student of psychological, cognitive therapy is the way to go, change negative thinking and change the world:)

Excellent and illuminating thoughts, Erik. Funny how this "pre-transtion state" (if you've ever taken a chemistry course, you know what the term "transition state" means) called the comfort zone is just below that event horizon that is CHANGE, even if the experiences are not what one wanted or anticipated in hindsight. To me the most important dynamic we glean from pushing past that comfort zone is the WISDOM we gain from having made the CHANGE effort.

Hi Coolaero,

Thank you for the observations. You are exactly right. It is definately the wisdom and experience gleaned from pressing beyond that zone that are what matter the most. And of course it is very strongly hand in hand with the science and reasoning used to delineate any analysis. You have certainly shared a great analogy on the whole affect. Take care and have a great day!

- Erik -