Posted: Sep 7, 08 7:54pm
No stranger to old passion
I never thought my long lost passions would lead me to this. It’s finally happening! I am going to NYC. Invited to read among some of the most elite community of poets, established, honored, and my inspirations. A reawakening occurred, a rebirth of sorts. Words and thoughts on a page and, others are actually enjoying them. This is so much more than just rediscovering an old talent; it is about discovering who I am.
I wrote poetry as a means of dealing with emotions and feelings I was forbidden to share or express in my home. “Don’t cry or I’ll give you a real reason to cry…” How those words still cause my chest to grow tight and my stomach to feel sick. It didn’t matter; I learned to watch, to listen and ,to write. Poetry, the means to hours of time spent sharing my most inner thoughts, feelings and emotions there in black and white. No one knew as no eyes ever saw them. The few I did share that were not so revealing were passed off as soon as the words left my lips. I wrote for me not them. It freed me of the pain of not having anyone to talk to. The pages never turned me away or forbid the emotion of my heart, and came alive with insight and words that danced on my tongue and rhymes that seemed like a melody, sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes indifferent. Each word was me, written and recorded for time. I lay naked on those pages. I wasn’t afraid knowing they would never be exposed. I would remain, unknown. This was the way I liked it, invisible to all but me, printed in black and white handwritten and typed pages.
I met a poet. He awakened in me my old passions. Words and thoughts were inspired within me when I read his poetry. He encouraged me to write. It was a new beginning for me. Months passed and poem after poem was created. It seemed too easy. The words would pour out with fluidity. It was like a damn had been opened and the rivers ran free. My words found their place on the pages and suddenly I remembered the joy and passion that was now reawakened. The same but different with, similar subtle undertones, more confidence and less emotional attachments. This was no longer an escape or outpouring of repressed feelings. This was experience, wisdom, tenderness, heated passions, and love for nature, relationships, Spirit and gratitude.
In searching the web for some information on poetry, I found a venue and several poetry groups; one close to home. I set out to see what it was about. I invited my friend to attend with me because I didn’t know what I was in for. Expecting students and educators, this surly was not that. It was nothing like I expected. Inside the coffee shop was dark with the most unusual art, people with tattoos, piercings, grunge look and gothic wardrobe. Some were in tees and jeans, and most had a lap top. Thoughts flooded in but they were not poetic. I thought: “It’s early; we can still leave without too much disruption.” We stayed. It was wonderful; readings, rapping, singing, and truly powerful verse. I was amazed by the talent and the vast age of those reading. I kept attending. I took some workshops. I even visited different venues eventually got to know people and make some friends. After several months I ventured to the stage. Halloween was approaching. I wrote a theme poem. It was not bad for a first attempt…and after all the readings; several people came up to me and offered praise. Now I knew I could write and handle stage fright.
My new friends provided assistance, feedback, and much inspiration. One suggested I check out his MySpace blog. This opened me to so much stimulation and inspiration. I had no idea there were so many people with talent. The poetry was overwhelming. I set up my own MySpace page. Able to surf, I replied to email and friends’ requests, commented on poetry, and began to post my own pieces. Connecting with other poets was expanding my skills, and widening my views. My writing took shape. I became close to some, and now had friends all over the world: Belgium, Australia, UK and all over the USA.
JD was the first seasoned poet I was able to connect with. His poetry goes beyond words and eloquence. Living in NY, he is a professional poet, runs a venue and teaches workshops. His friend BB is a favorite of mine. She is an instructor in a large university outside of the US. She is on tour and coming to NYC. This would be my chance to meet them both; a wish come true! For now, I just sip my cup of coffee and anticipate the journey, discovering who I am, and write another poem.
