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Grace Unto You And Peace,

Noanie4

You have it right on in describing my situation. Crushed by what lead up to my divorce and the therapy which had to follow, I have waited to "be cured".

But slowly and gently I have worked myself back to, if not feeling comfortable with women, at least tolerating the ambiguities of face-to-face dating.

I have put down the masks of "jerkdom" and "jockdom" and have neither said, "Suck it up." or allowed it to be said to me without a verbal shotgun blast back in the sayers direction.

Noanie4? You have hit this pig right on the hoove.

I elevate you to the rank of "Honorary Male," a title so thin that you have enough sense not to accept it, I hope.

We jerks and jocks don't need someone with good sense amongst us. They just clear up the air. [Cough! Cough!]

Agape, kiitos, shalom, Xie Xie, salaam ja namaste,

Don as "Tauno"

And what does flowers get you....???? I think the next selection should be "passionate kiss" or "sex" or LOL! I don't know but something, damnit!

Pat, I'm glad to hear that you weren't devastated by your divorce, but there are a great many people out there who are in an emotional funk because of it. I've resolved my feelings about my divorce as well, but after being on the dating sites, talking and emaiing with men, I get the distinct sense that there a many of them that are still hurting.

Hmmm, how a man thinks? Good question.

There lies the ultimate quandary. Women wondering what men think and men trying to understand (even a little) what women think.

I gave up wondering what women think as it hurts my narrow-minded brain. Women joke about not how men think but what they think with. Can men make the same type of remark?

I just canceled my two on-line dating subscriptions. Not due to frostation but since you have to proactively unsubscribe.

I met someone on Yahoo because I emailed her. I was also corresponding with a few others but that just seemed to fizzle. I would respond but then nothing? So, whether a wink, smile, etc., it always goes both ways in terms of wondering why there is no response.

People I had not heard back from were theoretically "active" (great point from "Stillgoing" about that observation)

So, they have consciously decided to not keep in touch. I can handle it. My ego is used to it by now.

The perception or expectation of what a quick link of a smile/wink/etc means is obviously different. It may mean, "WOW, I think your really hot and I want to have sex" or "you seem very interesting, I would like to get to know you better" (OK, possibly hoping for sex) or even "your profile or a comment you made caused me to think and I appreciate that and is the reason I am on TBD"

I don't want to defend or make any excuses for anyone's personal behavior but how we handle it is what I try to focus on.

Not sure if that helps??

I like winking on her checks and on the neck under her face, it's like kissing with the eye.

Well anyone that winks at me gets a wink back!

I think we show kindness to someone by winking, it is when you take life too seriously and try to over-analyze everyone's actions that life gets complicated.

So to all my friends, here is a [wink] for you!

Good point - I think that people do tend to overanalyze a simple wink.